i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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