uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So vagazzling was a success
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
