Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
