You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
