So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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