It's Friday. Sex?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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