i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
