maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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