last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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