Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
