there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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