turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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