Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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