dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
