I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
