Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
