party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
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I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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