so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
