Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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