if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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