after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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