he wants to bone in the snuggie
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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