i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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