Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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