i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
