I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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