Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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