I'm really into asian looking animals
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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