you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
