Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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