You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
