you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
