I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
