it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
