last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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