Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize