whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
