She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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