i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
