Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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