That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize