So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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