At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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