yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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