you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
