More tranny stories later!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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