i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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