Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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