he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
