Dual....:-)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
