Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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