we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You pole danced in your parka.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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