beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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