There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
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looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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