Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
