Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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