Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
