that's an acceptable place to lick
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
