i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
